Dear Jane, letter to ex-girlfriend and lover
LETTER TO EX-GIRLFRIEND: EXPLANATION AND GRATITUDE
Sometimes closure in relationships comes after two people have long since parted ways and requires someone to take it upon themselves to make it happen. Often referred to as the “Dear John” or “Dear Jane” letters no one ever wants to receive, they may be the one thing that set you free.
A letter to an ex-girlfriend, possibly sorry letters to ex girlfriends or boyfriends, explanations from one to another of timing issues or misunderstandings, etc., can always provide at least one person, if not both, the closure they need to move on.
In this actual letter one of our readers (who wishes to remain anonymous), wrote to his ex-lover and girlfriend, and explains himself and exposes his gratitude and true thoughts about their relationship.
“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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THE DEAR JANE: WHY WE BROKE UP…AND THANK YOU
Hi. How are you? I hope you are well. Why am I writing to you? Well, recently I attended a class to achieve more insight into my own life and choices that I have been making and I realized something very important while there.
I realized that I had been inauthentic about the reasons I broke up with you.
When I said you are a wonderful woman, I truly meant it. You are the most amazing woman that I have ever been in a relationship with and I cherish the good memories that I have of the two of us.
But I knew at the moment that I escalated our relationship from being friends to more than friends, that I was making a mistake – even though the next year and a half were probably the happiest time of my life. When we broke up, I told you that I always felt there was something missing within our relationship, and that was true.
When we were dating, I fell in love with the wonderful person that is you. But I was never physically attracted to you. It was so easy to not think about that in the beginning because I was having so much fun being with you, that I just blocked it out of my mind. As time went on and we started to talk about spending the rest of our lives together, I was forced to really think hard about what I wanted out of a relationship.
And I realized that I want the full package.
I want to spend my time with someone who I am attracted to emotionally, mentally and physically. That’s not to say that you are not an attractive woman, because I saw many guys who were really into you while we were going out. But I was never one of them. In fact, I was envious of them. They saw the one thing that I didn’t…and I really wanted to.
You really are an incredibly wonderful woman and I am sorry that you weren’t the woman for me. I would feel very lucky if you were. I wish that you didn’t have to suffer through my struggles for me to learn what I wanted from a relationship.
I promise you that I understand now, because of our time together, that I have the possibility of creating a complete relationship with a woman and that I will not settle for anything less – and I want the same for you. You helped me get here and I feel an intense gratitude toward you for this and so many things.
I hope that some day, you can learn to forgive my actions at the end of our relationship, because you deserve to have a wonderful life…with someone who appreciates and deserves you.
P.S. I still want my stuff back. ♥
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Mr. Anonymous,
After reading this article, I am curious as to why it took you almost 2 years to finally realize that you were not physically attracted to this person. Two years? Seriously? After investing two years I would assume that the relationship would have grown beyond the “physical attraction” that we all are attracted to in the beginning of all relationships. Seeing that you did state she was such a “wonderful woman”, I find it very shallow that you didn’t look beyond the physical attraction. Have you ever heard the old saying “Never judge a book by it’s cover”?? Maybe some advise we should all consider seeing that none of us are perfect. However, it’s probably a good thing you broke up with this woman – sounds like she deserved better.